Gemstone
by StrawberryWine85
Summary: They hadn't talked in four years. What happens when the silence breaks and he has to help her overcome a huge obstacle and mend her broken heart. What happens when she tries to teach him the meaning of forgiveness?
1. Chapter 1

_- My tongues the only muscle on my body that works harder then my heart-_

He never forgot that day, although he tried a million times. He was reminded of it every time he stepped foot onto a dock, or looked down at his newsies swimming in the river. It never left his memory. He sometimes thought that he would be able to see that night clearly for the rest of his life. To this day, even 4 years later, he could still remember every detail. How the wind made his arm hairs stand on end. How, the air smelled, of dirt, and grime, of sweat and stale alcohol. He remembered all of that. He could still see that fear in the girl's eyes. The glares, the tears, the screams. He remembered how she had kept screaming "why" and how hard she pounded on his chest when the ordeal had ended. How it had been him that carried her back in his arms while she fought to be free. It was him that undressed her after she had gone into shock and put her into the shower and washed her body. It was him that placed her into bed and tucked her in before taking a shower himself, trying to wash away the stench of death, but it stayed. To this day, he can smell it radiating off himself.

That was the first night he had failed at anything. He blamed himself, and even though he tried to hide it, it was obvious to all of his newsies and his Manhattan friends. There was sadness in his eyes that had never been there before. They felt bad for him, they knew it wasn't his fault, but there was consoling him. That was that, he blamed it all on himself, and she wasn't quick to argue over that fact.

He sometimes wonder what might have happened if he hadn't stepped in, he never looked at the positive side of it, at least one of them survived because of him. Though, to him, that didn't matter, she was as good as gone anyway. She left the next day anyway, gone without so much as a word, over to Manhattan. He received word two days later after a visit from Jack, she was safe, but she refused to talk to him. That's how it was from then on; they hadn't talked in four years.

Occasionally he sent one of his "birdies" to see what she was up too. Through them he found that she had left the Newsies only two months after leaving Brooklyn, to work in a factory. She moved into an apartment 10 blocks away from the Manhattan Lodging House, and she visited often. Never when he was there though, even stayed away during the strike, she didn't want to bump into him. To her, he knew, she was the pinnacle of all evil, The one who had destroyed her life.

Sometimes, looking back on that day, he had not only lost two of his best newsies, he had lost two of his closet confidant's, his two best friends in one incident; one to the river, the other to a broken heart.

Since that day, he was never the same, he turned cold, untrusting. Grew stronger, grew power hungry, he picked fights instead of settling them, used women instead of loving them, he changed, to the point where he didn't even recognize himself. Spot Conlon was no longer the fair, loyal leader that had once ruled over Brooklyn, he was cruel. That's the story of how Spot Conlon had become the King of New York. As he gained more and more power, a piece of him died, a little at a time.


	2. Chapter 2

"_For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath"_

She pushed her way through the crowded streets of Manhattan. The cold wind piercing every inch of her skin, and the snow soaking her thin shawl. She pulled it tighter over her shoulders but nothing seemed to be able to keep her warm. She sighed quietly and watched as her breath formed a cloud in front over her before quickly disappearing into the growing dark night.

She quickened her pace, now forcing her way through the crowds of people. She wanted to get home and feel warmth again but no matter how hard she pushed, she was pushed two steps back. She hated people, actually, she hated the world and nothing was ever going to change that. She had few close friends, wasn't nice to strangers, never went out of her way to help a person in need, was rude, ignorant, talked back, scowled more then smiled and averted eye contact whenever possible. She was not a friendly person, and she stressed that whenever possible. She hated life, but she hadn't always been like that.

Finally, the wind became too much for Lanie to handle, and instead of going to the six blocks to her apartment, she turned and went to two blocks to the Lodging House, the only place that she ever really felt comfortable.

She practically ran the rest of the way, and hurried up the front steps and burst through the front door. Silence greeted her. Nobody was in the front lobby. She shook the snow out of her hair and slipped the shawl out off her shoulders before turning and laying it over an arm of the coat rack behind her. She tip-toed over to the sign in book and signed her name. She was planning on staying the night _"No Point in walking back home in the dark," _she thought to herself as she wrote Gemstone into the book before heading towards the stairs.

Each stair creaked as she walked up, but that was nothing new. Years ago she found that if you certain stairs, each with a different creak, you could make it sound like "Mary Had A Little Lamb," she had even tried it once but had a hard time getting from the top stair to the bottom without hitting all the other stairs and losing the sound of the song.

When she had reached the bunkroom she stood outside, listening in, dead silence. She was confused, the bunkroom was never silent. She reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly, quietly pushing it open, and stood in the doorway. In front of her all the boys were standing around the makeshift poker table at the far end of the room. Smoke waves flying everywhere, even Kloppman was involved with what was going, staring intensely at the scene taking place. Lanie slipped into the room pushing the door closed slowly before once again tip-toeing across to see what was going on. None of the boys noticed she was there and she tried to sneak a peak over there shoulders to no avail. Finally, she spotted Jack standing outside of the action with her arms across his chest just staring.

Lanie walked over to him and stood by his side whispering in his ear, "Jack, what's going on".

Jack answered her without looking, "Race, he's about to lose his first poker game ever". He didn't seem to know who he was talking to. Lanie stood on the tip of her toes yearning to see who Race was playing but once again, she was too short to see over the boy's heads.

"Who's he playing?"

"Spot," Jack replied before glancing over to see how he was talking to. His face fell as soon as he saw her. She stood there in a state of shock before turning and running out the bunkroom door with Jack chasing after her.

"Gem stop! Wait a second." But Lanie showed no sign of slowing as she flew down the stairs and flung herself at the coat rack grabbing her shawl and running out the door without even putting it on. Jack chased after her and caught her before she hit the bottom stair outside. He spun her around to stare at him.

"Are you kidding me Gem? Why do you gotta run from him all the time?"

She looked away from him but he reached over and grabbed her face with his hand and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Why you always running away Gem?"

Gem could give no answer, she just looked at him and his expression softened. Finally she opened her mouth.

"I don't know Jack; I'm not ready to talk to him".

"Well you gotta be ready soon. We're coming up on five years."

"I don't need you to remind Jack," she hissed at him her eyes widening in anger.

Jack let go of her face and put his hands into the air backing off. "Alright, but at least come back with me. You don't gotta talk to him. Just be civil".

She thought about it for a second before saying anything.

"Fine, but you gotta give me a second. I'll meet you in there".

Jack frowned at her and didn't have to say anything for her to know what he what thinking.

"I promise. I will be there in a second".

Jack shrugged his shoulders and turned back towards the door shaking his head as he walked up the stairs.

She waited until the door closed behind him and checked to see if he was watching her from the window before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small metal flask. She twisted the cap off and smelled the inside before putting it to her lips and taking a sip. She felt it run down her throat on its way to her stomach. She held it in her hand, getting comfort from it. Her whiskey, she thought, was the only thing in the world that could make her feel better. She let a smile slip into her face and she brought the flask back to her lips, ready to take another sip, but she didn't stop there. She drank the rest. She deserved it she thought. A hard day at work, and now this shit with Conlon, that was a good enough excuse to get drunk.

When the flask was empty, she replaced the cap and slipped it back into her pocket before turning and re-entering the Lodging House.

Jack was waiting for her and smiled when she came through the door and hung up her shawl. She was the little sister he had always wanted to have. He did love her, and wanted to take care of her, he figured there was no one else to do that anymore. She turned to face him and let another smile slip onto her face.

"Ready?" Jack asked once again.

She nodded her head as they made there way back up to the bunkroom. Once again nobody noticed their entrance and they walked quietly over to the table. Jack nudged Mush in the side once they approached it. "Race lose yet?" Jack asked.

Mush shook his head and turned to Jack amusement in his eyes, "No," he whispered. "Spot's got him two games to one. It don't look too good for Race though, Spot just keeps bidding higher and higher, two more dollars and Race will be sleeping outside tonight. He's gotta fold in the next hand," then he turned his attention back to the game at hand.

Jack looked at Lanie and smiled then returned to watching the game. The room remained silent as Lanie tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on but it didn't last long, after a few minutes the room erupted with cheers and Lanie knew that could only mean on thing…Race had finally lost at poker. Race got up and stormed out the bunkroom and into the washroom where screams of anger could be heard. The boys just laughed though, they had been waiting for this for years.

Spot reached over the table to collect his winnings and the smirk on his face was cockier then ever. "Who wants me next? Any takers?" The room grew deathly quiet once again and all the boys looked away from the Brooklyn leader.

"No wants to play?" Spot asked once again looking around the room trying to lock eyes with someone.

Lanie stood in the back looking at the other boy's squirm, none of them wanting to lose their money. Finally without having a reason or without even knowing what possessed her to do it, Lanie yelled, "I'll play". The boy's heads snapped to stare at the small girl. She pushed herself forward and sat in the chair directly across from Spot staring into his eyes.

Spot stared back at her, no expression on his face. The staring contest lasted a few minutes longer before Spot broke it to look into his shirt pocket. He reached in with two fingers and pulled out two cigarettes sliding one across the table to Lanie. She picked it up and reached into her pocket grabbing her pack of matches and lighting in one strike. The boys stared at the pair not knowing how to act or what to say. Finally Lanie spoke.

"What we playing for Conlon?"

Spot smirked at her, "What do you wanna play for Gem?"

"If I win, you gotta give Race all his money back".

"What happens if I win?" Spot asked smirked on his face.

"If you win, the silence is over".

The smirked disappeared from Spots face as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"You're on. And one more thing".

Lanie nodded her head telling him to continue.

"If I win, you gotta come to Brooklyn".

Lanie's face stayed still, no expression. All the boys stared at her. She brought her hand up to her mouth and spit into it before reaching over the table and for Spot to return the gesture. Lanie sat back in her chair and waited for the cards to be dealt deciding on whether she wanted to win, or if she wanted to throw the game of her life.


	3. Chapter 3

"_She'll let you in her house, If you come, knocking late at night."_

Lanie walked back to her apartment later that evening. She needed to pack.

The wind had died down considerably and the snow had stopped leaving a little over an inch covering the streets and sidewalks. Lanie found no reason to rush back home. Though she had thrown the game knowing what the repercussion but she suddenly feared what she would feel when she returned Brooklyn. It had been nearly five years since she had returned there; never even stepping foot onto the Brooklyn Bridge in attempt. Too many memories that she hadn't wanted to resurface were hidden there.

Finally she reached her apartment building and walked up the 6 flights of stairs. It was late, so the normally loud building was quiet with the exception of that man downstairs who had a tendency to be a little to ruff with his wife. Lanie just sighed as she slid her key into the lock and opened the door with a click. She slipped in and threw her shawl over the chair at the kitchen table. She walked down the short hallway to her tiny bedroom and got down onto her knees looking under her bed for her bag. When she found it, she tossed it onto her bed and began searching around her room for different articles of clothing. A few shirts, two skirts, and three pairs of pants went into the bag along with various other necessities. Then, she looked over to her nightstand at the picture of her and her sister. She walked over and picked it up, then sat on the bed staring at it.

This was her favorite picture of the two of them, taken long before they had become newsies. When they still wore pretty dresses and had their hair done for them everyday. Lanie reached out and slid her finger over her sister's face. There wasn't a day that had gone by that she hadn't thought about her at least one hundred times. She missed her more and more everyday instead of less and less. She thought it was because they were twins; one soul in two different bodies.

Lanie stared at the picture for a few more minutes before she was disrupted by a knock at the door. She quickly placed the picture at the top of her bag and snapped it shut before walking down the hallway towards the front door. The knocking came again and Lanie reached for the doorknob flinging the door open.

Spot stood there with a surprised look at her face and his fist in the air as if he was ready to knock again. His arm fell against his leg and she moved aside a little bit to let him in.

He stepped in, catching the first glimpse of her apartment. It was clean he noticed, sparsely decorated, but cozy.

Lanie shut the door behind him. He turned to look at her.

"You ready to go?"

Lanie nodded her head and held up her bag for him to see. He nodded and the pair made their way out the door and outside into the streets.

They had gotten a block away from the building before Lanie stopped short.

"Shit," she proclaimed stomping her foot onto the ground.

Spot stopped and stared at her.

"What?"

"I forgot something, I gotta go back."

Spot nodded and took Lanie's bag from her while she ran back to her building and flew up the stairs back into her apartment. She shut the door behind her and locked it. Then she walked across the kitchen and reached up into the top cabinet pulling down two bottles of whiskey and another large flask. She poured the contents of one of the bottles into the flask and then uncapped the other one taking six or seven swigs before putting the cap back on and placing it back into the cabinet.

She slid the flask into her pocket and then ran from the apartment as the whiskey settled into her stomach.

Whiskey is what made her strong and tough. The only thing that could make her forget Lissy for awhile. The one thing that she knew could conceal her pain… actually; it was the only thing that understood her pain.

When she reached Spot he was lighting a cigarette. She smirked at her as he exhaled and reached into his pocket and grabbed one for her. She lit it, and took her bag out of his hands and the pair headed for Brooklyn.

They walked in silence most of the way before one of them had the nerve to break the silence. Lanie spoke first.

"So who is still there that I know?"

"Slug, Gunther, Cricket. I think those are the only ones. Everyone else will be new to you".

Lanie nodded her head before asking Spot for another cigarette which he quickly lit and handed to her. She wanted nothing more at this point then to reach into her pocket and drink the whole flask. Her nerves were shot. It was now Spots turn to break the silence.

"You like working in the factory?"

"It's alright. I can live off the money I make. Boss is pretty shitty, but I've learned to deal with it."

Spot said nothing and by the time they had reached the bridge the silence in them had actually grown comfortable.

Spot looked at Laine out of the corner of his eye. She had changed a lot. She hadn't grown much, but her body was fuller. Wide hips, skinny waist replaced the once stick figure look. Her hair had gotten lighter and longer, but not by much. Her face had gotten longer and fuller. She was still pretty.

Even her name had changed. Lanie of course, stayed the same. Gem was different. Gemstone instead of Gemini, the sign of the twin. She was the older of the two, and the first to join the newsies. Of course, it had changed now, not by a lot though, they still called her Gem but for a different reason.

Spots train of thought was interrupted when he noticed that she was watching him stare at her. He quickly looked away.

Soon enough they reached the Brooklyn Lodging House. Spot walked right up the stairs before he noticed that Lanie wasn't behind him. He stopped and turned around and caught her staring up at the building.

She hadn't seen the front of the building since that night. The last time she had set foot inside was when she had lost her sister. It scared her a little and she could feel the flask burning a hole into her pocket. She needed it now more then ever.

"You okay Gem?" Spot yelled.

She looked away from the building after a minute. "Yea, I'm alright," she said before proceeding to follow him up the stairs and into the house.

Nothing really changed she noticed once they were inside. The furniture was set up the same way it had been. Spot signed both their names into the book and placed the pen back onto the counter.

"Jameson is gonna be surprised once he sees your name in that book".

Lanie forced a fake smile and watched as he walked through the common room and towards the stairs before stopping and turning waiting for her to follow him.

They walked up the stairs, Spot first and then walked down a long hallway before stopping.

"You gonna be okay sleeping in here. If not I can put you in the bunkroom. Make one of…." But Lanie cut him off.

"I'll be fine in here," she snapped.

Spot just shook his head and opened the door.

It was their room.

Of course Lanie had known that, but to be inside the room she and her sister had once shared gave her chills she wasn't anticipating. She looked around the room and noticed that nothing had changed. Her sister's clothes still were piled in her bed. Both beds remained unmade and a large pile of dust was now collecting on the dressers.

"You could have cleaned it Conlon".

Spot shrugged, "Figured you woulda wanted to do it."

Lanie pushed her way into the room and placed her bag into the floor.

"Why did you bring me here Conlon?" She looked directly at him when she said that, her eyes wide and wondering. He didn't look away.

"You'll see soon enough Gem," was all he said before turning and leaving the room closing the door behind him.

Lanie flopped down onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling contemplating tonight's events. She was still unsure why she had thrown the poker game; she knew she could have easily won. After thinking for a few more minutes she sat up and opened her bag taking the picture of her and her sister out and placing it on the table next to her bed. Then she reached into her pocket and grabbed her flask, she opened and drained the entire contents into her throat then waited for the burning to subside. Then she went to work, cleaning the room. She figured it would be easier facing lost memories if she wasn't going to remember them in the morning.

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews:) I guess I also should have been adding this all along, you know the disclaimer and all of that, I don't own Newsies, Lanie and Lissy are mine along with everyone else you don't recognize. Also I think that I should also say that the quotes in the beginning each chapter are lines from certain songs. Chapter one's is from Brand News- Okay I believe You, But My Tommy Gun Won't. From Chapter 2 it's Brad Paisley ft. Allison Krouse- Whiskey Lullaby, and this one is Secret Garden by Bruce Springstein. They all kind of go with the story. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Wake up Gem. You gotta get to work."

Gem woke with a start and stared up at Spot, who was standing over her, staring. She groaned and rolled over on her side.

"What time is it?" She said groggily

"Early. We gotta walk back over to Manhattan. Hurry up or you're gonna be late." He turned and walked over to the door leaving her to get ready.

Gem sat up and rubbed the sleep out her eyes. She got up and walked over to her dresser pulling out some clothes that she planned on wearing to work. Then she went and washed up before returning to her room. Once again, she walked over to her dresser opening her drawer and grabbing her flask. Empty. She panicked. She paced the floor. She couldn't go to work sober; she wouldn't make it through the day. Then a thought struck her. Jameson's Liquor cabinet.

She quickly walked towards the door and looked up and down the hallway, making sure Spot wasn't in sight before slipping quietly out the door and down the hall and then down the stairs. She tip-toed through the common room and walked towards the small office.

She peaked her head in first, making sure Jameson wasn't in there. When the coast was clear she slipped in and headed towards the large closet on the other side of the room. She opened it, and breathed a sigh of relief. A half full bottle of whiskey sat on the top shelf. She reached up for it and opened the bottle. She drank nearly all of it, before placing it back in the spot where she got it. She turned and exited the room. She turned and slowly closed the door behind her. As she turned back around she almost walked right into Spot.

"What were you doing in there?"

Quickly, Gem replied, "Looking for Jameson. Haven't seen him in awhile".

Spot looked as is he didn't believe her, but let it go.

"Come on, we need to go."  
"Where are the other boys?" Gem asked as they made their way to the front door.

"Jameson will get them up."

The pair walked the rest of the way in silence. When they finally reached the factory that Gem worked at Spot left her at the front gate.

"I'll be back later. I'm gonna sell in Manhattan today."

Gem just nodded and then watched him walk away waiting for him to turn the corner before turning and running in the opposite direction.

"_I can be late" _She thought to herself and she ran the rest of the way to her apartment building. Once again she ran the whole way up the stairs and into her apartment, forgetting to close the door behind her. She ran through the kitchen and flung her top cabinet door open, grabbed the bottle of whiskey that she had opened last night and began to drink. All of a sudden she heard a voice behind her.

"Gem, what are you doing?"

Gem froze. She placed the bottle on the counter in front of her before turning.

Spot stood in the doorway, staring at her, daggers in his eyes.

"What the hell is that Gem? What the hell are you doing?" His voice was eerily calm. That's what made it so scary.

Gem just stood there and stared at him. Spot walked over to her, and nudged her out of the way, picking the bottle up off the counter.

"You're kidding me right? You really didn't just leave work to get drunk."

"I was going to go back," Gem said sheepishly, looking away preoccupied with something on the ground.

Spot took a deep breath to keep from screaming at her.

"How long you been drinking like this Gem."

She didn't answer him, just shook her head.

"Since Daisy died right. You been drinking since Daisy."

Once again silence was his only response.

"How many bottles a day Gem?"

Gem replied quietly, "About 7".

Spot could no longer contain his anger.

"SEVEN! You drink seven bottles a day! Gem that's more then all my boys can drink in one night!"

Silent tears began to flow down Gem's cheek but she said nothing.

"Where's the rest of it?"

Gem turned and opened the cabinet behind Spot. There was at least 20 bottles a lined up in neat rows, like soldiers, out for protection.

Spot's eyes widened.

"Where do you get the money Gem? That's a lot of liquor."

"I steal it, I buy it. Depends."

Spot just stared at the cabinet in amazement. Then he looked over to Gem eyeing her up. She didn't look like she had a drinking problem. She looked skinny that was about it. No swelling or redness in the face. Her eyes were never bloodshot. He hadn't smelled anything on her breath since he had been around her again. She hid it well.

"Does Jack know?" Spot questioned

Gem just looked at Spot through her tear filled eyes and shook her head.

Spot felt bad for her for the first time that morning. He hadn't realized till that point just how much pain she still felt.

Finally, Gem wiped her eyes and walked past Spot heading for the door.

"Where you going?" Spot yelled after her.

"To work," she yelled over her shoulder.

Spot made it over to the door in two steps and grabbed her arm pulling her back into him.

"You can not go to work like this."

"Yea Spot," she hissed at him; "I can. I have to go to work or I will lose my job."

"Are you kidding me Lanie? Do you realize what could happen from you being drunk at those machines?"

She turned and stared at him. He never used her real name unless he was angry or upset with her. It was like a father yelling at his daughter.

"I am not drunk Spot. I have to go to work." She raised her voice a little bit hoping to get her point across to him. Spot didn't want to hear any of it though.

"No you are staying here."

"No I am not. Let me go!"

She was ready to spit on him. Anger was beginning to seep through her pores and it took every nerve in her body to control herself from punching him in the face.

Spot sensed this, and in one try, scooped her up and threw her over her shoulder and proceeded to grab her keys off the table and carried her down the hall.

She was screaming, "PUT ME DOWN NOW SPOT! GOD DAMN YOU! PUT ME DOWN!" She pounded on his back until her fists turned red. He walked into her bedroom and threw her onto her bed. She stared at him for a second. Then watch his retreating back as he closed her door behind him.

It took her a second to realize what he was doing. Her keys. He took her keys off the table before he put her in here.

"_He's going to lock me in here,_" She finally realized. She jumped off the bed and ran over to the door and turned the handle. Nothing. It didn't turn.

She started pounding and kicking the door with all her might. "LET ME OUT CONLON! RIGHT NOW!" Silence greeted her. She pounded for a little while longer, screaming along with it. Her energy eventually gave out and she fell to the floor in a sobbing heap and cried until it hurt. Then she listened. Still there was only silence.

"_He wouldn't just leave me here."_ She called out to him.

"Spot!" There no answer.

"Come on Spot, let me out. I promise I'm done yelling, I won't go to work. Just let me out."

She heard footsteps walk down the hall and stop in front of the door.

"I can't let you out Gem. Sorry."

Gem had no other reaction but shock.

"WHY?"

"You need ta stop drinkin'. You're an alcoholic Gem."

Gem just stared at the door as the harsh reality hit her dead on. She was an alcoholic.

Spot's voice drifted through the door again.

"I have gotta go sell. I'll be back in two hours."

With that the footsteps retreated back down the hallway and she listened as she heard the front door close, leaving her all alone.

She retreated back to her bed and fell onto the bed, and cried herself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary by now, I own nothing except for what you don't recognize.

"_I'm sorry for, the person I became"- Reliant K_

Spot went to find Jack. He hoped that Jack had some answers for him.

As he walked through the streets he found that Gem had completely taken over his thoughts. He didn't think she had changed. She was still appeared to be the same Gem. Sharp tongue at times, but she was the quiet one of the twins. Daisy had been the one he had to worry about, never Gem. He wondered if that was the reason that she hid it so well.

He decided on the walk that he wasn't going to sell today. He was going to find Jack, and bring him back to the apartment, and then stay with Gem.

As the distribution center came into view, Spot walked quicker, hoping to catch Jack before he left to sell for the day. Thankfully, Jack was standing with Dave and Les in front of the Distribution Gates.

"Jack!" Spot yelled over the crowd. Jack's head turned to the sound of his name, and cracked a smirk when he noticed Spot pushing his way through the crowd.

Spot approached him, and Jack spit into his hand and held it out. Spot did the same while he was still walking and shook hands with Jack when he reached him.

"What's new?" Jack asked Spot, not expecting him to see Spot for a few more days when he came back with Gem.

"Gem, you know she drinks?"

Jack laughed and shook his head, "Course I know, everybody knows. Out drank Race last week at Medda's. Was kinda surprised by that because you know Race and…"

Spot cut him off by putting his hand into the air, "No Jack, I mean she really drinks".

Jack still didn't understand exactly what Spot was trying to say, and it showed on his face.

"Follow me Cowboy, I gotta show you something."

Jack started to protest, but Spot just grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Dave and Les, down the street.

"You have to see this Jack, you're not gonna believe it."

Back at Gem's apartment, Gem lay asleep in her bed, dreaming-

_"Daisy, you sleeping?"_

_Gem stood over her sister shaking her awake. Finally the girl woke up and groggily opened her eyes._

_"I was Gem, what are you doing?"_

_"Let's go swimming?"_

_Daisy groaned and rolled back over to sleep, "You're crazy Lanie, it's 2:30 in the morning."  
Gem pushed her again, "Just come with me."_

_Daisy groaned and pushed the covers off herself and rolled out of bed. _

_"Just so you know, I'm gonna kick your ass if we get caught sneaking out," she said while scrambling around that room to find her clothes._

_"You sneak out all the time Lis," Lanie said crossing her arms across her chest. Lanie continued to pick up articles of clothing around the room._

_"I sneak in Lanie, big difference then sneaking out. The boys will help you sneak back in, not out."_

_Finally both girls were ready and proceeded down the stairs. They tip-toed through the common room, and up to the front door._

_Wait," Lissy whispered loudly before turning back around and sneaking into Jameson's office. Lanie stood and waited for her to return. Suddenly there was a loud crash and Lissy came running back through the door, running towards Lanie grabbing her hand and running with her out the door. They didn't stop until they reached the docks when both girls fell down laughing._

_"That was fun," Lanie said through bouts of laughter. Lissy nodded her head in agreement. "What did you knock over in Jameson's office?"_

_Lissy shook her head and reached into her pocket pulling out a bottle of rum. Lanie's eyes grew in shock._

_"You stole that off Jameson!"_

_Lissy nodded her head and twisted the bottle open and brought it to her lips and drank a quarter of the bottle before handing the bottle to her sister. Lanie look at it unsure before deciding to drink, she drank just as much as her sister before placing the bottle in front of her. She looked over at her sister, and noticed her staring at her. _

_"What possessed you to sneak out Lanie? It's not like you at all."_

_Lanie looked back at her sister and thought for a few moments before answering. "Spot… and the boys. I'm just sick of them thinking I'm perfect." _

_Her sister stared at her harder after she said this knowing that her sister wasn't telling her the whole truth but decided to let it go. _

_"There gonna be looking for us now," Lissy finally said while reaching over for the bottle in front of her sister and drinking some. "There gonna make sure were okay after that crash. We'd better get in the water before we can't get in at all."_

_Lanie just shrugged her shoulders and stood up to undress, Lissy doing the same. _

_Lissy jumped in first, Lanie immediately following. The two girls playing, swimming, having a good time._

_"Go under," Lissy said. "Let's see who can stay under longer." Lanie nodded her head and both girls took giant breaths of air and went under at the same time. _

_Lanie came up quickly after getting water up her nose, and as she coughed, she waited for Lissy to come up too. After a few moments she began to worry and turned in circles waiting for her sister to reappear. _

_"Lissy! Lissy this isn't funny! Come up right now!" She yelled over and over again. Suddenly somebody pushed her under the water. She came up quickly and heard Lissy laughing behind her._

_"Not funny you ass! I thought you drowned! Lanie yelled at her sister. Lissy kept laughing._

_"Lissy! Lissy this isn't funny," Lissy said mocking her sister. _

_"Shut up!" Lanie yelled splashing her sister in the process. Lissy splashed her back, and a splashing war was started. The girls screaming, having a good time suddenly they heard a voice from up above them. The two stopped playing and looked up to see Spot throwing daggers at them with his eyes. Then hestarted yelling, "What the hell do you think you are doing! Do you realize that my boys have been looking for you half the night!"._

_Lissy looked at Lanie apologetically before looking back at Spot with a scowl, "We only went for a quick swim Spot, no harm done"._

"_You don't sneak off in the middle of the night, in Brooklyn! You should know that by now!" Spot was livid with the girls but Lissy kept her cool. _

"_Well there's nothing to worry about now. We'll get out, you can stop being high and mighty, we're safe," Lissy said swimming over to the dock Lanie following her. Lissy climbed out first and reached down to held her sister out. As she did this, the dock gave way, and the pair fell back into the water._

_Spot, not sure what to do, too panic strickened by the situation unfolding in front of him to think, he just kneeled at the side of the dock, peering into the murky black water below, looking for any sign of life._

_Suddenly, both girls surfaced, both scared, both screaming. Lissy kept bobbing up and down, and Lanie was screaming at Spot, telling him that Lissy was stuck, and she couldn't get enough air. Spot noticed that Lissy and Lanie were holding hands, and without hesitation, he reached into the water, trying to grab both girls. Scared to fall in and drown himself, he kept reaching down farther and farther. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach both of the girls just Lanie. He knew that if he didn't get her out of the water soon, both of them were going to drown. He did the only thing he could think of, he reached into the water, and pulled the two girls hands apart. Lanie let out a blood curdling scream, "No, You can't leave her there! GET HER OUT!" But Spot had no choice, he could only save one. As he pulledLanie higher and higher out of the water, she fought back harder. "YOU NEED TO GET HER OUT! GET LISSY OUT!" There was nothing more that Spot could do, as he threw Laine onto the dock, he quickly looked over at where he had last seen Lissy, but there was no longer a body, there was nothing, no sign of life what so ever. _

_Suddenly Lanie started screaming, "WHY SPOT! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME GO WITH HER!" She was screaming and bawling, choking on her own sobs, swinging at Spot with all her might, before she crashed into his arms, sobbing. He held her there until she blacked out… _

SuddenlyLanie awoke with a start, Jack was kneeling next to her, rubbing her hair back, Spot standing behind him, his face a white as a ghost. Laine noticed tears were streaming down her face. Jack looked at her concerned, "Lanie, you're ok, you're here with us," he whispered. She shot Spot a quick glance again, and for the first time since the accident she felt sorry for him, but without saying anything, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Alright, so I hope you kind of got the drift of where I'm going with this… how about some reviews people! I'm kind of getting depressed…


	6. Chapter 6

"_You were everything I wanted, but I just can't finish what I started" –New Found Glory_

The two boys left Lanie's room silently, and proceeded down the short hallway to the tiny kitchen. Jack fell into the closest chair and Spot leaned against the counter, arms across his chest. They say there for a few moments in silence before either one spoke.

"She do that often in the Lodging House?" Spot asked moving his head to look towards Jack.

"When she first got there she didn't sleep for two days. But when she started to sleep, yeah, she did that a lot. Went on till right before she moved in here."

Spot just nodded his head and took a deep breath; "I gotta show you something," he said and turned opening the cabinet behind him, revealing to Jack for the first time its contents. Jack stood up quickly and walked over staring in disbelief.

"You're kidding me. They ain't all for her," he said staring at Spot, his mouth hanging open.

Spot closed the cabinet and walked over to the only remaining chair and fell into it, he head in his hands.

"I never noticed Spot. How did I never notice? I saw her everyday, and everyday she seemed fine," he shook his head in disbelief. "How did I never notice," he said again before walking over and falling into the seat across from Spot.

Once again the room became deathly quiet; the two boys sitting there, contemplating the situation that was unfolding before them.

"What are we going to do Spot?" Jack asked.

Spot moved his hands and let them fall onto the table. "Ain't a clue. I can't keep her locked in there forever, and even if I did, it aint gonna help any. She's gonna do it anyway."

Jack shook his head, knowing there would be nothing that could really help her. "Maybe we outta just leave her in there for another day or so…" Spot began to interrupt him but Jack put his hand up, and Spot immediately quieted down. "Like I was saying," Jack continued, "Maybe if you keep her in there for a few days, we can get her through the withdrawal period. It will be hard, but at least she won't be able to get any if she really needs it, and it will give us a few more days to figure out what we're going to do with her."

Spot glared at Jack for a few seconds before allowing himself to succumb to the idea; "Alright Jack, a few days. But then she's coming to Brooklyn with me, got it?"

Jack nodded his head and stood up, "I got to get back to selling, and I'll come by later after I tell the boys what's going on."

Spot just nodded his head once again before standing up as well.

As Jack walked past Spot, he stopped, placing on arm on the boy's shoulder and whispering, "I ain't your fault Spot. She made the decision on her own. Ain't nothing you can do about that." He let go of Spot's shoulder and walked over to the door, and letting himself out.

Spot waited a few minutes to make sure that Jack wasn't going to walk back in with anymore unwanted advice. He stood in the middle of the room before walking over to Lanie's cabinet and opening it, staring inside. All the bottles were full, and staring at him with undoubting eyes, daring him to do something. As he stared the anger inside him began to boil. He reached up into the cabinet and grabbed a bottle. He held it in his hands staring at it. Then he untwisted the cap and held it under his nose, allowing the smell of it to get up into his cavities, filling him with more anger. He hadn't smelled it on her breath, which was strike one. He walked over to the small sink, and turned the bottle over, pouring its contents out.

He placed the bottle next to him on the floor and walked back over to the cabinet taking another bottle out. He stared at it once again, but this time be did stop to think of a reason to pour it out, he just walked to the sink and allowed to contents to once again be poured in. When the bottle was empty, he placed it next to the first empty bottle and walked back over to the cabinet.

He anger could no longer be contained at this point. He stared at the bottles in the cabinet thinking, "_Why did she hide like this? Why did she turn to alcohol? Why didn't she ask for help? Why didn't she do any of this? _ But as he was thinking of the answers for the questions, another one hit him in the face, _"Why didn't you go after her when she left? Why didn't you save her?_ Something inside him had snapped and he reached up into the cabinet and grabbed another bottle, and then another bottle and threw them all to the floor cursing both him and Lanie as each bottle smashed, emptying its contents. Finally there was one last bottle left, he stared at it for a few moments, thinking about what to do. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the key to the bedroom floor. Still holding the only unbroken bottle in his hands, he quickly walked down the hallway, the anger growing with him, and unlocked the door to the bedroom. Seeing Lanie still asleep didn't stop his anger and with all his might, he threw the bottle at the wall next to the bed and woke Lanie with a start.

She stared at him for a few minutes. He was breathing heavily, his face red, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "What the hell was that Conlon?" She yelled to him.

"What the hell was that?" Spot said moving over to the broken bottle pieces on the floor. He picked up the bottom of the bottle for her to see. "That was your last bottle of whiskey. You ain't getting anymore!"

He was scaring her; she had never seen him so mad in all the years she had known him. "Why'd you break it?" She asked timidly, still unsure what he was angry about. He had to say the least, calm when he had locked her in there, and sad when she had woken from her nightmare. That wasn't long ago she knew, and wanted to know what had made him so angry.

Spot exploded with her last question, "Why did I break it! ARE YOU KIDDING ME GEM? You're an alcoholic, and you want to know why I am breaking bottles of liquor! You amaze me sometimes, you know that! How you gonna be so stupid Huh?"

Gem stared at Spot, terrified. Never before had he yelled at her like that. Suddenly, and without warning, her fear turned into anger, and she stood up from the bed and walked over to Spot and yelled into his face. "I don't because, unlike you, I can't hide my pain. I can't just walk around like everything is fine when it's not. I am not Miss Mary-fucking-Sunshine all the time, and without the whiskey, I am dead. So get off my case and leave me alone about it!"

Spot stared at her in disbelief; she had never talked to him like that. The anger in him somewhat subsided, but not enough to make him stop yelling. He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer to him. Tightening his grip around her staring into her eyes he saw a fear that he had never seen before and immediately released his grip pushing him away from her, "Ain't nobody said you ever had to be perfect Gem. You never had to walk around and pretend everything was perfect. You didn't even ask for help, you just jumped right into this… He let himself trail off.

Gem looked away from him, still scared to look at him, but surprised at how quickly he became calm, when she spoke it came out as almost a whisper, "I had no one to turn to Spot, Lissy was gone. Who was I going to tell?"

Spot stared at her in disbelief, and with every power he had, remained calm, "Lissy, would never have wanted you to start drinking. And Lissy wasn't the only person in the world that loved you," was all he said before turning towards the door and locking it behind him. He turned his back and allowed himself to slide down the wall and sit, with his head in his hands once again. Suddenly, there was a crash of glass that sounded off the door, and without having to check on her, Spot knew that Gem has smashing her own bottles inside her room.

Authors Note- Thanks to all of you who reviewed! Keep them coming! Also, just wanted to fix any confusion from the last chapter, Hannah and Marie do not exist in this story, I used those names originally for this story, but changed them after I re-write and I wasn't a very good proof reader… so there is only Lanie and Lissy aka Daisy and Gem, sorry about that.


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm sorry for the person I became, who I am hates who I've been"-Relient K_

She needed a drink. She couldn't take the feeling throughout her body. The broken glass of the seven broken whiskey bottle still lay on the floor around the bed, but there contents had long since dried up leaving her with nothing.

She slid off the bed and walked towards the door while avoiding the little shards of glass that were all over the place. She placed her ear on the door and listened but there was nothing. She got down on her knees and peeked under the door. But there was nothing. She began to panic. _"He wouldn't just leave me alone would he? Nobody knows I'm locked in here!" _

She called out to him, "Spot!" But there was no answer. She tried again, "Spot, are you out there?" Once again, there was no answer. The panic inside of her began to rise and she called out again, "Conlon! This isn't funny, where the hell are you?" This time though, she was greeted with the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway, and Lanie sighed in relief.

"What Lanie?" Spot asked through the door.

"Nothing, just wanted to make sure you didn't forget I was in here."

"No, I was reading the paper."

"Oh. Are you going to let me out anytime soon?" She asked through the door to the other side.

A quick "no" answered her.

She sighed and leaned against the door, sliding down and sitting on the floor.

She needed a drink. She needed to get out. Her entire body was screaming from withdrawal. She hated it.

"Are you going to let me know why I'm trapped in here?" She yelled through the door again.

"You drink," was the response. "You gotta stop drinking."

"If I promise to stop drinking, will you let me out?"

"No."

Lanie stood up quickly and pounded her fist against the door. "Damn it Spot, let me out!"

"No."

She pounded again. "How long are you going to keep me in here?"

"Three days," came the nonchalant answer through the door.

"THREE DAYS! No, let me out now!"

This time there was no response, just the sound of the key being slid into the lock and the click of the door knob as it opened. Spot stepped through the door and closed it behind him.

"You can't keep me in here Conlon. It's like kidnapping or something."

Spot stared at her and then leaned against the closed door, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Listen Gem, you gotta stay in here. I can't let you out."

"Why, give me one reason why?" She yelled at him.

"Cuz you're an alcoholic. You're too good to be like that. Just listen to me for once."

Lanie sighed and moved towards the bed, falling into it.

"What is locking me in my room going to prove?"

Spot just shook his head, "Don't you get it Lane? You need a drink now I'm sure. Am I right?"

An answering silence followed.

"If I let you out Lanie, you're just gonna drink. You can't get out till you don't wanna drink anymore

Lanie snorted a laugh, and sat up to stare at him, "You really think three days is enough. I'm not going to be magically cured Spot. Just let me go about my business."

Spot stepped closer to the bed. "I'll let you out in three days. That's the best I can do. After that, you can leave this room but not your apartment. Jack will have one of his boys here all the time to make sure you don't leave…"

Lanie jumped into the conversation, "I can't leave my own apartment! Are you kidding me Spot! I'm 18 years old; I can do what I want!"

"Not when you're hurting yourself you can't."

Lanie stared at Spot dumbfounded. _"He's right_," she thought to himself.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before either spoke.

"How hard this is going to be Spot?"

Spot shrugged, "Pends on the person. My father took a long time, but he didn't really want to quit drinking. But you know that story. My mom had a hard time dealing with him. You're only starting this thing Lane. You gotta hard couple of days ahead of you."

Lanie stared straight ahead of her. "I'm going to be mean to you aren't I?" She questioned. Spot smiled back at her.

"I'm sure you are, but then again, it ain't gonna be anything new."

The pair was now grinning at one another.

"I'll be okay with whatever we have to do," Spot continued. "You are the one that's gonna be at her worst."

Lanie shook her head, "But I'm fine now."

"Wait a few more hours," Spot said while turning back towards the door. As he opened it he turned backs toward her. "I'm going to get some food. I'll be back in a few minutes," then he walked through the doorway and shut the door behind him.

Lanie fell back onto the bed and sighed. _"It's not going to be as bad as he thinks," _she thought to herself. She looked up to the ceiling and thoughts of her sister began to cloud her mind.

"_Spot's right, Lissy would be mad if she ever saw me like this. This was something that would have disappointed her." _Lanie sighed once again and rolled over on her side. Already the withdrawal symptoms were beginning to get to her. Replacing the thoughts of her sister were the thoughts of being drunk. All she needed was a sip; just a sip and she would be fine. But there was nothing left. Anger slowly began to bubble inside of as she mentally kicked herself for breaking every bottle she had hidden in her room in the heat of the moment.

She couldn't get the thought of liquor out of her head not matter how hard she tried. She wanted to taste it and the burning sensation it gave her. She knew that it was the only thing that could make her feel better. Then suddenly Spot crossed into her mind. She knew that he wanted her to do this. He needed her to do this. Actually, she was beginning to wonder where he found this strength to help someone that she had been so mean to over the past few years. How he had any patience with her at all.

Suddenly tears began to fall from her eyes as she thought back to when she had first become a newsie. How Spot had acted around her, how their relationship had bloomed. She watched all of it on the back of her eye lids, while the tears streamed down her cheeks. She hated herself, and who she had become. She wanted, and needed, and not only that, but knew, she had to set things right.

**Not really sure where I was going with this. I started to type it and then I had to stop and now I am all confused.. Ha-ha... anyway READ AND REVIEW! Love ya all!**


	8. Chapter 8

_I'm heaven sent, Don't you dare forget, I am all you ever wanted"- Brand New_

She was crying again. Spot hated to hear her cry. She had been like this for almost two days and his thoughts of being able to let her out on the third were starting to dwindle. Spot got up for the kitchen table where he had been sitting, reading the days evening edition for the second time and walked down the hallway towards the bedroom.

"What's wrong now Gem?" Spot asked through the door

"I want Lissy," came the soft sob filled answer through the door.

Spot looked up at the ceiling above him and shook his head. This was now the third time she had told him this, and each time the response got more and more violent. He wanted nothing more then to open the door and hold her and let her cry on his shoulder, but he couldn't do that. He needed to stay put.

"Lissy's dead Gem," he said quietly through the door.

Silence answered him but he could hear footsteps walking to the door. Spot waited to hear the worst. But nothing came. Suddenly he heard a loud "Thump" through the other side of the door and Gem began wailing again.

"Why didn't you just let me go too Spot? We should have gone together!"

The blood in Spots veins froze. It was the first time she had mentioned that night to him ever. He had nothing to say to her, there was nothing that he could do to justify what he had done other then pick the one that was closest to him at the time.

The sobbing continued through the door, but there was no speaking. Spot couldn't take it anymore, and finally broke away from the door, walked through the apartment, and out the front door. Then he ran, as fast as he could to get away from his biggest problem.

"_What was I thinking?_" He thought while he ran, "_I can't handle her when she is like this."_ Finally he stopped running at the outskirts of Central Park, found himself a bench, and sat down trying to think how to fix this situation.

He knew that there was nothing in the world to make her feel any better. There was nothing left to take away the pain that she was feeling. _"Maybe I should just let her drink? It's been long enough and she is still going on and on. Maybe this plan won't work…" _

Suddenly a feeling of anger rushed through him. He hated what she had become, how no matter how hard he had tried to not think of it, the memories of her came rushing back into his head. Memories he had not thought of for a very long time. His favorite memory of her was the first day they had ever met. How perfect she had looked that day, how quiet and shy she had been, and how she didn't even know that she was already becoming the queen of his heart…

"_You lost kid?" He asked the tiny girl in front of him._

"_No, I'm looking for my sister."_

_He looked around the docks at all the other boys and turned back to her smirking, "Look like there any girls around here?"_

_Her eyes grew wide and she began to stutter, "I..I just thought maybe she would… would be here." She said taking a step back._

_Spot laughed, "I'm only teasing you girl. What's your sister's name?"_

_She hesitated for a second before answering, "Lissy."_

_Spot turned back around to face the boys, "Anybody here run across a girl name Lissy?"_

_The boys looked up at him but nobody answered. Spot turned back to the girl, "Sorry, ain't nobody seen her…"_

"_Okay," the girl replied. Spot waited for her to leave but the girl just stood there staring at the ground. _

"_Anything else?" Spot asked._

_The girl looked up at Spot with tears in her eyes. "My mom and dad… and Lissy and I got separated, and I don't know what to do," she cried._

_Spot felt bad for the girl standing in front of him, "What about your mom and dad?" He asked. _

_The girl shook her head and wiped her eyes, "The fire, everything is gone, and I can't find my sister."_

_Spot shook his head not wanting to speak the one thought playing in his mind. Sighing reached out to the girl, and turned her around with his arm and began to walk away from the docks. "You can stay with us till you find your sister. We have an extra room you can stay in." The girl just nodded and began to cry again. _

_Spot looked intensely at the girl walking next to him. She was beautiful, he thought. Her long blonde hair running down her back appeared to once have been neatly done, looked as if it hadn't been washed in days. Her skin was flawless, and her dress, although he could tell once must have been glamorous was now dingy and tattered. _

"_How old are you?" Spot asked._

"_11," the girl replied. _

_"What's your name?"_

_"Lanie."_

_Spot then dropped the small talk as he walked the girl the rest of the way to the lodging house in silence…_

The memory was interrupted by a stray dog barking in the distance. Spot sat there for a few more minutes before deciding that he needed to head back. He walked through the streets thoughtless. He just wanted to check on Gem and then go to bed.

As he rounded the corner to the apartment he saw Jack leaning up against the building, smoking a cigarette. Spot approached him. When Jack spotted him he smiled.

"What you doing here Jacky?" He said, holding his hand out to shake. Jack took it, and then dropped his arm to the side.

"Came to check on Gem. How is she, any better?"

"No better then yesterday. She's still crying for Daisy."

Jack shook his head and sighed. "Feel bad for her you know, so alone and everything. He just wants her sister."

Spot nodded and reached into his pocket for a cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag and held it in his mouth for as long as he could before exhaling. "This is gonna take longer then I thought Jack. She ain't any better then before. This is bad, she should at least be coming off it a little and she's just getting worse."

Jack took a drag before talking, "She used to liquor to forget Lissy, now, you're making her remember fours years worth of pain."

Spot looked right at Jack knowing that he was right. "I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to do this Jack. Just before she wanted to know why I didn't let her die. It's killing me to see her like this."

Jack didn't say anything for awhile and let the topic go for a second. "She eating anything?"

Spot shook his head, "No, not a bit for almost two days. Won't drink nothing either."

Jack shook his head, "Listen, stay here tonight. You gotta go back to Brooklyn tomorrow. Your boys been looking for you all day, want to know when your coming back. Go make yourself some money. I'll stay with her tomorrow, and have Race or Mush stay with her tomorrow night."

Spot started to protest but Jack put his hand up to stop him. "You look like shit Spot. I know you ain't been sleeping. Please we can handle it for two days. Go to your boys, go take care take care of Brooklyn and while your there take care of yourself."

Spot knew that it was a losing battle. "But, Jacky, you gotta promise that you will tell me how she is tomorrow, I'll send Rabbit over tomorrow night. And if anything goes wrong I wanna know. Got it.

Jack looked at Spot and knew that he meant business, "Fine, I promise if anything goes wrong you'll know about it." With that he flicked his cigarette and turned towards Spot, spit it in his hand, and held it out. Spot returned the gesture and the deal was done.

Jack turned to leave and called over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow morning Spot," he said before quickly walking away.

Spot watched him go before flicking his own cigarette and walking back inside and up to the apartment. He immediately walked down the hall and listened at the bedroom door but he heard nothing. He turned the door knob and slid in quietly shutting the door behind him.

Gem was huddled in the corner of the room, lying in a ball, still quietly crying but sleeping at the same time. Spot walked over to her and gathered her up into his arms and lifted her up carrying her to the bed. Placing her gently on the bed he pulled the blanket up and covered her. Taking the back of this thumb and gently wiped the tears off her face.

After making sure she was comfortable and stared at her for a few more seconds. _"She looks go innocent. So perfect,"_ He thought to himself. Finally, he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before turning and leaving. As soon as he turned the door knob a quiet voice spoke from behind him, "I'm sorry I yelled before."

Spot froze for a second before responding, "I know Lanie," was all he said before slid through the open door, and turned to lock the door behind him. It was louder then usual and Spot was sure that was because it was trying to hide to sound of his heart breaking with each click.

**So yea, I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but I guess I needed to put it in there! Anyway thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I own everything you don't recognize…

_Somebody you fill find me, Caught beneath the landslide- Oasis_

It was still early afternoon when Spot entered the Brooklyn Lodging House for the first time in nearly four days. He knew none of the boys were back from selling and took advantage of the knowledge to enjoy some peace and quiet.

He made is way through the common room and over to the stairs. Each stair creaked its own musical melody as he walked up them to his own bedroom. As he walked through his bedroom door, and over to his bed, his tired body began to scream of rest, the last few days hadn't been easy on him.

Before he left this morning, he had to fight with her to eat, she didn't want to. Then he had to fight with her to drink some water. She didn't want to. He left the glass on her night stand, and she threw it at him narrowly missing his head. He was so enraged he left the broken pieces on the floor and left the bedroom ignoring the sounds of her apologetic sobbing through the door. Jack was the only welcome sign he had all day and was relieved when he had walked through the front door of the apartment. He was tired of watching her be the way she was. He had lost the will to help her. He wanted to stay in Brooklyn.

He flopped onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He wanted her to be the way she used to be. Nice and caring and friendly. He wanted to see her beautiful smile shine across her face. It had been awhile since he had seen that smile. He thought back to the first few months that she had lived at the lodging house. How she tried desperately to be happy, but always seemed to be sad. How all she wanted was her sister that nobody could seem to find. The day that Lissy showed up at the lodging house was one of his favorite memories of Lanie. The way she looked, the way she let her emotions hang out. Yes, it definitely was his favorite memory of her…

_"If you're going to cheat Conlon, I am not playing with you!"_

_Spot smirked at her before flipping his cards over to reveal a full house, "I don't need to cheat, I'm just that good."_

_The girl sitting across from him threw her cards down in disgust and got up walking away from the poker table._

_"Ain't you gonna show me your cards?" He yelled across the room to her._

_She looked back at him and shook her head, "No point. You beat me, but one day Spot, I swear, with God as my witness, I will beat you."_

_Spot shook his head and laughed. She had been there three months, and already, she was the apple of his eye. He had never taken to a girl so quickly, and he found himself being captivated by her presence. He loved being around her. _

_He watched as she walked through the common room and up to the stairs heading her own little bedroom; her retreat away from the rest of the world. _

_Spot cleaned the poker table up, and was just gathering the last of the cards before following Lanie up the stairs. He walked down to her room and knocked on the door. _

_"Come in," answered the knock and Spot turned the doorknob letting himself into the room._

_She was sitting on a small chest that she had placed in front of the window and was staring out over Brooklyn. He smiled at the back of her head, but something was tearing at his heart. He felt so bad that she was so lost. He hadn't really been looking for her sister, but he knew it was constantly on her mind._

_"You look sad," she said to him making him jump._

_He shook his head, "Naw, just came to see what you were doing up here, and claim what is mine." He stared intensly at her, trying to keep eye contact, but she blushed and looked away. She stood up quickly and fixed her skirt before moving to her bed and dropping to her knees to look under it. Her head disappeared for a few seconds as she reached rummaged around looking for something and soon she emerged, holding a tiny box in her hands. She held it out to him. _

_"It's not all the money I owe you," she looked away sheepishly. "I didn't think I was going to lose."_

_Spot just shook his head and shoved the box back down at herr chest. "I don't want it," he said. He took a few steps back. He couldn't explain what was going on, or why his heart only seemed to skip a beat when he was around her. He looked away from her quickly and over to the wall next to her bed._

"_Take a nap Gem, you look terrible."_

_The girl stood up quickly and raised her hand, slapping him playfully on his arm. "Don't you start Conlon," she said laughing, not picking up on Spot's mood. _

_The boy smirked at her before retreating for the door. Without another word he left and headed back for the stairs. He whistled as he walked down them, thinking about what he was going to do to fill his time while Lanie was in her room. _

_The docks seemed as good an idea as any, and he quickly walked to the river, wanting some much needed time with his boys. _

_As he approached he could see a large group of boys standing in a circle around something. "Not a fight," Spot though to himself._

_He quickened his pace as he came closer and closer to the group he could now see what the boys were staring at. He stopped short._

_There in the middle was a tiny girl, bloody, dirty, and obviously shaken. He pushed his way toward the center of the group and once again, he stopped short, his breath caught in his throat. _

_"How did this happen?"_

_The girl looked too terrified to speak and just stared back at Spot wide-eyed._

_"Gem, how did this happen? When? Who?"_

_The girls face crumpled into confusion and tears._

_"Who's Gem?" The girl asked. "They keep calling me Gem, my name isn't Gem."_

_"What is it then?" Spot asked. Getting more confused by the second._

_The girl just looked at him but said nothing. The pair looked at each other in silence, both confused, both wondering what was going on. _

_Suddenly footsteps were heard behind them, and a high pitched voice rose above the group, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"_

_The entire group turned to see Lanie walking towards them cheerfully. Spot did a double take, looking from Lanie to the other girl in disbelief. Lanie caught Spots stare and stopped short, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly the group parted, and the girl pushed her way out, staring at the girl on front of her._

_The group just watched the scene unfold in front of them. Unsure what they were seeing was real. Finally somebody got the nerve to whisper, "They're twins…"_

_Spot was taken aback at the new discovery and stared at Lanie for a few seconds. Then suddenly the other girl walked forward towards her sister. _

_"Is it really you?" The unknown girl whispered aloud._

_Lanie nodded her head as she examined the girl in front of her._

_Without warning, the girl sprinted forward, and embraced her sister in hug finally allowing the tears to fall freely…_

Suddenly Spots thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his bedroom door.

"Come in," he yelled out.

The door flung open, and Gunther came walking in out of breath. Spot sat up quickly and watched the boy, who was now doubled over, trying to catch his breath.

"Jack…Boots…Lanie…downstairs," was all Gunther was able to say between breaths. Spot sprang from his bed and flew out the door to his bedroom without a thought. He rushed down the stairs to see Boots in the same position as Gunther upstairs.

Spot took long strides to reach the boy and upon doing so grabbed his shirt and hoisted him into the air against the nearest wall.

Boots body shook with fear, as the King of Brooklyn stared at him, breathing heavily. Boots flinched preparing for the worst. He didn't want to be the one that came to tell Spot the bad news, but he was the closest to Lanie's apartment when Jack was looking for help.

"What's wrong?" Spot yelled into the face of the younger boy. "What happened?"

Boots averted eye contact with the boy, and while still trying to catch his breath he quietly said, "Gem, slit her wrists…she's at the hospital…"

The boy was abruptly cut off by being dropped to the floor, and before he could even look up, Spot was gone.

Okay people Thanks for the reviews! You guys are awesome. Keep them coming! And just a real quick note about the next chapter, it's taking place at the same time as this one, so it's the same period of time, just in Manhatten with Lanie and Jack… hopefully I will get it up sometimes later today!

And remember REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW:)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclamier: I own everything you don't recognize…. Yadda yadda yadda

_You fought Me Once But Not Again, Let Me Feel Your Heavy Hand- Breaking Benjamin_

Jack waited untill he heard the door click then let out a heavy sigh. He didn't think that Spot would actually fall for the idea, seeing as he was always stubborn and pig headed when it came to things like this. Plus, he never thought he would leave Gem's side once they started talking again. But, he had obviously thought wrong, and had mentally kicked himself as he walked away from the conversation last night, and was knew stuck "baby-sitting" when he really should be making money. He thought Spot was just over reacting when it came to Lanie. Sure, Jack had seen the bottles in the cabinet, and he had seen Gem out drink most of the boys in the Lodging House, but it didn't mean she should be locked in a room until Spot decided to let her out. It didn't seem fair.

He lazily walked around the apartment for a few minutes, looking at the dishes piled in the sink, and the stray newspaper littered all around. Finally he made his way down the hall, gently reaching into his pocket and grasping the key that Spot had handed him before he left.

_"Don't let her out Jack," _ was all he said before slipping through the door and leaving. He said they had gotten into a fight, but was not clear on what it was about, and that Lanie was in a bad mood.

_"Well I would be in a bad mood too if I had been locked in a room for four days_," Jack thought to himself as he slipped the key into the lock and turned it gently. He turned the knob and pushed it open.

The room was dark. Newspapers were positioned in front of the windows like curtains to block the sun. Glass shards littered the floor, along with half broken bottles, and the room reeked of whiskey. Jack looked to the bed to see Lanie curled into a tiny ball sleeping peacefully.

_"Really was some fight if the room looks like this,_" Jack thought while standing against the door way watching Lanie sleep. It reminded him of the first day she showed up at the Lodging House, the day after the drowning.

_"BOYS! WAKE UP! I NEED HELP!" Kloppman screamed, as he ran in and out of the washroom into the bunkroom holding towels in his hands. _

_Jack was the first to lift his head up from his pillow and yelled grumpily to the old man, "You're crazy, leave us alone, we got more time to sleep."_

_Kloppman stopped running for a second and approached Jack, still holding a bundle of towels in his hands. He leaned over and whispered into Jack's ear, "Gem's downstairs, Daisy drowned last night." _

_Jack shot up like a bullet and jumped from his bed, he grabbed some towels from Kloppman and headed down the stairs stopping short at his first sight of Lanie. She sat on the stool in front of the sign in desk and stared straight ahead of her. He lips were quivering and blue from the cold. Her clothes were soaked to her skin, and hair dripping creating a puddle around her. She wasn't crying, wasn't moving, just sitting and staring. The image gave Jack the chills. _

_Finally Jack got the courage to walk over to her. He wrapped a towel around her shoulders, then placed one on her lap. _

_She looked scary, almost like a ghost, he couldn't get up enough nerve to ask her what had happened so the pair waited in silence for Kloppman to come. He could hear her teeth chattering, and saw her body begin to shake from the chills, but felt powerless to help her. This was the only time Jack had seen Gem unable to help herself._

_Finally footsteps were heard coming down the stairs, and Kloppman appreared with a few more towels, and some spare clothes. _

_"Move Jack," he said while pushing the boy out of the way._

_"What happened to her?" Jack finally whispered._

_"I think she's in shock. She didn't say much when she came in, just that she needed a place to stay, and when I asked her about Daisy, she whispered that she had drowned. Then she sat down, and hasn't moved yet. Just keeps staring at the wall. The girl is crazy for walking here all the way from Brooklyn in weather like this."_

_Jack shook his head, "How could this happen?" He thought to himself. He knew Spot had the answers…that is, if Spot even knew if Gem was gone. He made a mental note to send someone over to Brooklyn to tell Spot she was here._

_With his attention turned back to the pair in front of him, he watched as Kloppman dried her hair, and the rest of her body before stepping back and handing the girl the clothes that he had brought down with him. She took them in her hands but made no effort to move. _

_"Go change Gem, you'll catch a cold," Kloppman said, encouraging the girl to move. Gem stayed where she was however, still staring at the wall, although her lips were no longer quivering. _

_Kloppman tried once again, but was met with great resistance from the tiny girl. He leaned into Jack and whispered into his ear, "You try, she might listen to you."_

_Jack shrugged his shoulders then took a step forward and knelt infront on the girl. Her eyes still looked straight, and he reached up to her face and forced her to look at him. _

_"Lanie, you need to go get changed. You're soaking wet."_

_The girl shook her head out of his grasp and finally spoke, "I killed her Jack, it's all my fault," was all she said before slipping from the bench and into Jack's arm sobbing into his chest, and there was nothing that Jack could do except hold her until she cried herself to sleep._

_Once her crying had decreased and only the whimpers were consistent, Jack carried the small girl into the back room and left, allowing Kloppman to change her clothes before calling him back into the room and telling him to carry her to one of the spare beds upstairs. Jack nodded in understanding and carried the girl through the room and up the stairs and placing her on the bed farthest away from the rest of the sleeping boys. He placed her gently onto the bed, and sat on the edge, watching her whimper in her sleep and cry with no tears…_

Screaming drifted down from the upstairs apartment and made Jack emerge from his memory. He sighed and stared at Lanie for a few more seconds before turning to leave when something caught his eye. In the corner, something red. He tip-toed towards it, and without having to lean down to see he knew what it was.

He quickly shot around and stared that the girl sleeping. He took a few more steps towards the bad and looked over at her. Blood, on the sheets. He turned her over and that's when he saw it. Her wrists, she had slit her wrists.

Without even thinking he ran for the bathroom and grabbed two wash cloths from the basin and ran back into the bedroom wrapping her wrists.

"What are you doing Lanie? Why did you do this?" He said aloud. There was no answer.

He held pressure on the slices for a few seconds before noticing that he blood was seeping through the wash clothes. He wrapped them tighter, then reached up and smacked her face a few times to see if she would wake up. There was nothing, no movement at all.

"God Damn you Lanie…what the hell is wrong with you?" He said while picking her up and running from the bedroom with her. He knew she needed to get to a hospital, god only knows how much blood she had lost.

He ran through the apartment building with her, and when he finally reached the sidewalk outside, he pushed his way through the crowd, screaming at people to move out of the way.

He knew time was of the essence, and felt like he was running faster then he had ever run. He didn't think he was going to make it, and each time he looked down at her, he left as if her breathing was becoming more and more shallow, "Hold on Lanie…Just a few more blocks, and we'll be there…" He told her, not sure if he was reassuring her or himself.

Finally, about a block away from the hospital he noticed Boots standing on a corner selling his papers. As he ran passed him, he caught Boots eyes, and yelled, "Stay there, don't more," while rounding the corner and running the half a block to the hospital.

Upon entering he hitched Lanie up a bit higher into his arms and rushed to the nurse's station, "She…Slit…Wrists..." He said while gasping for air. The rest was blurry, nurses rushing around, towels being switched, Lanie being taken out of his arms, the next thing he remembered was a nurse yelling at him while she was rushing down the hall, "What's her name?"

He shook his head, "Lanie, Lanie Dowlson," He yelled back and then watched her nurse disappear. Then he turned and walked back through the front doors of the hospital. He began walking back to Boots and lit a cigarette on his way to calm his nerves.

Boots still stood on the corner apprehensvily tapping his foot against the pavement. As soon as he saw Jack round the corner and rushed over to him, "What happened?"

Jack shook his head and took a few drags from his cigarette before answering. Then he waved Boots closer, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You need to listen very carefully, you hear me?"

The younger boy nodded his head with understanding. Then Jack continued.

"You need to run to Brooklyn, find Spot, and tell him this… you need to listen good now, okay Boots?"

Once again the younger boy nodded his head.

"You can't mess this up Boots, you gotta tell him this exactly like I am telling it to you now. Okay?"

"Okay Cowboy. What's going on?"

Jack took another drag before answering, "Tell him Lanie is in the hospital, she slit her wrists. Tell him I am with her, and that she is with the doctors, but he needs to get here are soon as possible. Then bring him here. Okay? You need to tell this to Spot, not one of his boys. You need to demand to speak with him. Okay?"

Boots shook his head once again.

"Okay, go," Jack demanded, and the boy took off, and left like he was flying instead of running.

Jack watched him go until he had disappeared, and then leaned against the wall of the building behind him and finished his cigarette, wishing that the wall would swallow him .

Finally, he pushed himself off, and began to short walk back to the hospital, glad that he was already there, because when Spot heard the news, he was sure he was going to need some doctors.

A.N.- Okay, I think this will be my last flashback chapter for awhile. I need to leave some

Questions unanswered. Anyway, thank you guys soooo much for the reviews! You are the absolute best EVER! Keep them coming!


	11. Chapter 11

"My yesterday's are all boxed up and neatly put away; but every now and then you come to mind" –Sheryl Crow

She felt dead when she opened her eyes. The light, bright, shinning, white, her surroundings unfamiliar to her. She felt weak, tired. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt; actually, her whole body was burning in ache. She tried to move, but her body wouldn't let her. Her head lay still on the pillow no matter how hard she tried to turn it. The ache… the pain… the burning. She remembered nothing, thought nothing, only pain… then it consumed her, and her eyes shut again bringing on the darkness…

"It's all my fault," Spot said, cupping his head in his hands and leaning forward in the chair so that his elbows rested on his knees.

"No, it's not," Jack lied in a weak attempt to comfort his friend.

Spot shook his head, and then lift his body so that his leaned back against the chair loosely, so that he looked like a rag doll.

"How so Jack? Huh? No way you can give me a good answer. I locked the girl in a room for four days! What the hell is wrong with me?" His voice rising in momentum with every word. The other people in the waiting room were staring at him out of the corners of their eyes.

Jack lowered his head into his hand in attempt to shy away from the stares that Spot was unaware of. He was steaming however, angry with himself.

"Listen Spot, you made the decision tryin' to help her. You didn't know this was gonna happen. Just let it go for a second, stop blaming yourself, and let's worry about Gem, okay?"

Spot nodded his head meekly, allowed himself to relax in the chair, tapping his foot against the ground. Jack twiddled his thumbs, trying to find a way to avoid the uneasy silence that had fallen between the two boys. Suddenly, without warning Spot sprang from his chair and turned to Jack, screaming.

"HOW COULD YOU LET ME DO THIS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR GOING ALONG WITH THIS IDEA? WERE YOU NOT LISTENING, DIDN'T YOU SEE?"

Jack looked up at Spot wide eyed in shock, then he got up grabbed Spot by the arm, and walked him out of the hospital and into the alley that lay beside it. He threw Spot against the wall and glared at him.

"You kidding me Conlon? You're gonna blame this on me? It wasn't my idea; I never even thought it was a good one. Sure she drinks, let it go. Nothing you're gonna do is ever gonna change that. Look," He yelled point at the hospital in front of him, "Look what she did to herself. You can't force her to stop Spot; you can't lock her up and pretend that when you let her out everything is going to be okay. Life doesn't work that way. Let her decide to give it up, don't make the decision for her."

When he was done his chest was heaving, and his face was red. He had never allowed himself to get that angry with Spot, not even when he almost refused to join the strike, but this was something he couldn't ignore.

Spot looked back at Jack with a clenched jaw, and Jack was ready to brace himself for a fight. But it didn't come. Spot slumped his shoulders, and leaned against the wall, and slid down to the littered ground, face in his hands. He sat there for a few seconds before speaking.

"You know that night? The night Lissy died?"

Jack nodded his head, and with anger said, "You mean the night you never talk about?"

Spot looked up at him and for a second anger splashed through his eyes.

"Cut the crap Jack, just listen."

The taller boy shook his head and sighed, "Go ahead Spot," he said conceding to his anger.

"The night, when they were in the river, I was never so scared in my life. How do you do something like that Jack? How do you just pick one and not the other, it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I thought about just letting the two of them go together. I couldn't choose, I couldn't pick between life and death for the two of them," He paused for a second and closed his eyes. "They were screaming, but I drowned that out in my own thoughts, and when I reached in, I couldn't grab Daisy, so I let her fend for herself. Lanie was tiny, so much smaller, and… I couldn't let her go, so I pulled her out. I didn't know that Lissy was stuck until it was too late. So it is my fault that Lanie is the way she is. I made a decision, I didn't pay attention, and it is my fault."

Jack stood still for a few seconds letting everything sink in. Then he moved and fell right next to Spot on the ground.

"Listen Spot, Lanie is the way she is because she chose to be that way; not because you made the decision that you made… you never told anybody this have you?"

Spot shook his head, "I never had the nerve, I came close to telling Lanie once. I was drunk; I walked over to her apartment, but didn't have the nerve to go up. I guess the beer balls just weren't enough for me that night. But that's not what I was getting at. Since that night I feel like I am obligated to protect her, to make her safe. That's why I did it; I didn't know any other way to help her."

The pair sat in silence once again. Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out two cigarettes, and handed one to Spot. He lit them from the same match, and took a drag.

"You need to let this go, the two of you need to let it go, because no matter what happens, Lissy isn't coming back. No matter how much you sit and regret your decision, or no matter how much Gem drinks, nothing is going to change the past…"

"Isn't it my job though?"

Jack looked at Spot confused, "What?"  
"It's my job, I need to protect her. Gem, she had nothing left because of me."

Jack took another drag, and exhaled while talking, "You're wrong Conlon, she has everything, you need to let her see that though. Give her a break, if she makes it through this, you need to help her let go."

Nothing was said, and the two boys smoked and sat, thinking about the situation that had been unfolding in front of them. How this really might be the end of Laine.

They heard footsteps approach the alley, and they looked towards the street. A young woman in white clothes stopped just in front of them, "Are you with Lanie Dowlson?" She asked.

The two boys stood quickly, threw there cigarettes to the ground, and Spot removed his hat from his head.

"Yes ma'am," Jack replied.

"Come with me," She said, then turned and walked back towards the hospital doors. The two boys stood in there spots for a second, looking at one another. The nurse stopped and turned towards them, with a smile she said, "Come on, no need to be afraid."

Spot took a step forward, "Is she okay?"

The nurse turned once again to face the pair, "You'll see; hurry up, the doctor wants to see you."

The two boys walked quickly to catch up with her, and the three headed back into the hospital.

A.N.- I updated quickly! Yay for me! This might be the last quick one for awhile, finals are coming up and I have to study study, study! Anyway, thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! If I get a lot, it might give me the energy to take a very welcome break from being studious and post the next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

"It's Been Awhile, Since I Could Hold My Head Up High"- Staind

She waited outside on the steps, the wind blowing in the wind. It felt good. She had been held up in the hospital for almost two weeks now, and she was ready to leave.

Race and Jack sat on both sides of her, waiting patiently with her for Spot to arrive.

"You know Gem," Race began. "You can stay here with us. You don't gotta go with him."

Gem shook her head, "No, I promised. I promised that I would go with him. I have to."

Race nodded his head as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out two cigarettes. He placed one in his own mouth and handed one off to Gem, who took it graciously and leant closer to Race so that he would light it.

She exhaled slowly, allowing it to fill her lungs. "_Brooklyn_," was all that kept running through her head. She had made a promise to live in Brooklyn. Not only that, just two weeks before, she was slicing her wrists over the leader of Brooklyn. She began to wonder whether or not she really was crazy.

After thinking back to that day, she looked down, noticing for the first time in the sun how good of a job she had actually done to herself. Permanent scars, she knew, a mental reminder of how stupid a stupid decision it was, one that she was lucky to have lived through, and she thanked God for Jack having his keen eye or she wouldn't be sitting here.

She looked up, and caught Jack staring at her.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, nodding his head down at her wrists.

"No, not physically anyway."

Jack looked away, taking another drag of her cigarette. "Why did you do it Gem? What made you want to do it? Is it really that bad? Are you really that lost without your sister?"

Silence answered. That was a good enough answer for Jack. He knew that when she was ready to talk she would talk, and after countless conversations with Spot over the last two weeks, he knew that she was not saying much of anything; still he figured trying wouldn't hurt.

The three sat in silence, trying to follow each of their own thoughts for awhile.

Gem thought hard about the questions Jack had asked. How foolish she felt at that moment. How embarrassed she was, that a once prominent girl like herself had deduced herself to drinking that much alcohol, and still, to this day, there are times where she wants nothing more then to feel the burning in her body as it danced her way down her throat. She said nothing though, keeping it to herself was much better. She needn't concern anybody with her problems, they needed to get back to their own lives, and stop being so concerned about her.

Almost as if being able to read her thoughts, Jack said, "He thinks you still gotta problem you know. He thinks that you still want to drink. I'd be careful over there if I were you. Make sure he ain't gonna lock you in no more rooms, okay?"

Gem stared at Jack, letting what he said sink in. She knew he was right. She could sense it whenever Spot was around, but nothing was ever said. She could tell he was holding back the question every time that they were together. He was scared; he felt that he had hurt her again. It was almost as if nothing had changed between them. Like when they were still kids, and he felt it necessary to play the big brother role and watch her at all times. She found herself wondering at times if he was the reason that she never turned out to be as rambunctious as her sister, and she knew that slowly, ever so slowly they were beginning to build that relationship back up.

In fact, the situation between them had become much better since she had been in the hospital. He had visited every other day, staying for hours at a time, and she was sure that when the other newsies walked in, news of her condition quickly got back to him. It seemed to her that things had almost returned to normal, like they were back before her sister had died although the tightness in her heart still remained. She was happier, her disposition had changed, and even Spot seemed to notice the color that had come back into her cheeks. Still something was missing.

Finally, after a few more moments, Spot turned the corner. It took a few seconds before the three of them noticed him coming, and upon seeing him they all stood. Gem reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, careful of her still tender wrists.

As he approached them, Gem could already see him with his hand against his mouth, and with in a millisecond it was held out waiting for Jack to return the favor.

"Thanks Jack…for you know… sitting with her." He sounded unsure of that however, He sounded almost disappointed that she was not alone when he had come to get her.

Jack grinned; unable to pick up on the emotion, "No problem Spot."

Race stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest, waiting for his show of respect that he should have known would never come. Finally with no avail, he allowed his arms to drop to his sides and sighed.

"I'm gonna go try to find Blink Jack, maybe he'll let me split papes with him until the afternoon edition. You wanna come."

Jack quickly shook his head yes and quickly hugged Gem goodbye. As he pulled away he whispered in her ear, "Don't let him mess with you Lanie. He means well, just don't let him take it too far."

She nodded her head in understanding, and then watched as the two boys quickly walked away. She was sure she heard Race mumbling something about Brooklyn and thinking that they are high and mighty.

She then turned her attention to Spot who was staring at her intently.

"You look good Gem." He said, his trademark smirk appearing on his face.

She only blushed and looked away; not sure of how to reply to the comment. For the first time in awhile the girlishness arose from her, she shied away from, and made no eye contact until finally he cleared his throat, making her jump a bit, having gotten lost in her own thoughts.

"You ready to go?"

She nodded his head and the pair made off for Brooklyn.

HELLO! I missed you guys! But guess what? FINALS ARE OVER! Meaning… I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! That means I can devote more attention to this story! Anyway, sorry this is so short, but I just finished my last final today, and then I had a 6 hours ride home from school, and I am tired! Perhaps there will be another post in the next day or so. Until then review, review, review! Love Ya!


	13. Chapter 13

"So Take Me and Break Me and Make Me Strong Like You"- Brand New

The walk back to Brooklyn went quickly. Gem was surprised at the way the pair just seemed to talk. How the conversation seemed to just flow between them, and before she realized it they were already to the bridge. Once again, without warning, anxiety seemed to take over her body. This was only the second time that she had been here since her sister died and she once again, she wasn't sure if she was ready for old feelings to resurface. She heard Spot continue to talk to her, but his words were lost on deaf ears.

"You okay Gem?" Spot asked; staring at her with his eyebrow raised.

She shook her head quickly, quickly pulling her back through her thoughts. She stared at him for a second, trying to remember the last thing he had said, but for the life of her she couldn't. "Yea, sorry, I'm fine. What did you say?"

"I asked if you would be okay walking back to the lodging house by yourself. I want to run down by the docks to check on the boys."

"Sure go," she replied. "I'll be alright."

Spot nodded his head, and began to walk away from her before turning around, "You sure you're okay?"

Gem smiled at his being concerned, "Yes, I'm fine. Now go."

Spot smiled back at her before turning and walking away. Gem watched until his figure disappeared around a nearby corner, and she began to walk again.

It was a short walk, and she still knew the way like the back of her hand. As she approached the Lodging House, she stared wearily at the three boys that stood outside smoking cigarettes. Her eyes focused on the taller one. His face was familiar; she just couldn't place the name. Then suddenly it hit her, and she took off in a quick sprint.

"Gunther!" She yelled at the boy.

He looked up, and smiled as she jumped into his arms. He hugged her tightly.

After a few seconds, he gently pushed her off of him and held him at arms length.

"Look at you," he said, running his finger down the side of her face, stopping at her chin, and lifting it up to make eye contact with her. "Still looking beautiful.

She smiled up at him.

"Spot said you would be stopping by today. Figured I would come back here after selling and wait."

"Where's Cricket?"

Gunther shrugged, "Down at the docks. Spends a lot of his time there. He'll come back with Spot."

Silence followed.

"So, have you been inside yet?"

"Yes," Gem said. "The night Spot brought me back here from Manhattan. The night…" She paused for moment, unsure of whether to continue, not knowing how much Spot had told Gunther about the situation. Spot liked to keep things to himself, but she decided that this was too big of a secret for Spot to keep bottled up and continued on, "The night before this whole thing started".

Gunther drew in a deep breath, letting Lanie know that he knew the whole story. With a quick look her told her they would discuss it later. He reached into his pocket and pulled another cigarette out.

"I see you're still a chain smoker," Lanie giggled.

Gunther smirked at her, "Some things will never change," he said, bringing the cigarette up to his lips and taking a drag. A comfortable silence followed for only a moment or too.

Gunther pointed to the other two boys standing with him and finally introduced them, "This here's Pant, and his brother Jim. Guys, this is Gem."

The strangers spit shook and Lanie looked at Gunther with her eyebrow raised, "Jim, his nickname is Jim?"

The three boys laughed at this statement. Gunther shook his head, a broad grin spreading across his face.

"It's kind of a long story. One we'll save for later." He threw his finished cigarette onto the ground. "I wanna talk to you alone first." He nodded his head towards the front door, and then turned and walked up the front steps with a quick goodbye to the other two boys. Lanie simply waved before following.

They walked quickly through the common room, passed a quiet game of poker, and right passed Jameson, who stared at the pair from behind his desk.

"Ain't ya gonna sign in?" The man yelled with annoyance, but Gunther just kept walking, and Lanie looked back and just shrugged her shoulders. She could hear the man mumbling under his breath at them.

"No good kids… hate working…if only…" was the last thing Lanie caught before they reached the top landing, and the silence was restored.

Gunther turned around, placing a finger to his lips. "You gotta be quiet, or else the other boys will come, and wanna know what's going on. A lot has happened that has left these guys confused."

Gem said nothing, but stared at the boy with a bewildered look in her eye. She watched him reach for the nearest door, and quietly turn the knob.

They entered the room. It was tiny, with two beds, and no other furniture to decorate it.

"Why are we in the sick room?" Gem immediately asked.

"No one will look in here," was all he said before sitting on the bed farthest from the door. Gem followed suit, and before long, Gunther got into the happenings of the Brooklyn Newsboys.

"Gem, You ain't been around in awhile, and I'm not sure you really know the extent of what's been going on. I'll let you in on a little bit, but you can't let onto Spot that you know. Got it?"

Lanie nodded her head and the boy continued.

Gunther got up from the bed, and walked to the tiny window and leaned against the frame, staring out into the streets below.

"He's had a hard time since you left Gem. I've known the boy basically my whole life and I've never seen him so dead. He's been walking around like a zombie for four years, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Do you know what happened the night Daisy died Gem?"

The girl took a second before answering, "Only till I got pulled up on the docks. After that it's just bits and pieces. I only remembering waking up and leaving for Manhattan."

Once again, Gunther took a deep breath before continuing. "You beat Spot up pretty good. He was bruised for a good month after that. But even more then that, he saved you Gem and you just up and left on him without so much as a reason."

Gem could sense the anger growing inside the boy, his fists were clenched, and when she paused during his story she could hear him grinding his teeth.

"It took him almost two days to find out that you were in Manhattan, and when he found out you were safe, I never saw the kid more happy. Then Jack came here, told him that you didn't want to see him, and he was crushed. It was like you knocked the energy right out of him. It took him two months before he would talk to any one of us boys. It took him almost 6 before he went out to sell papers again. Each of us took turns paying for him to sleep here."

Gem stared at her friend in disbelief. There was no way that mighty Spot Conlon would allow himself to get that down about a girl. Questions began to fill her mind, "But how come nobody ever came over to tell me? How come you never came to visit?"

"We were all angry with you," he paused. "Well that and we weren't sure if you would want to talk to us at all. You completely shut us out. You were here every day for four years and then you were gone. You'd beat the shit out of our leader, and you ran away. Honestly, I was more disappointed at you then angry. I thought that Brooklyn had taught you more then that. That you knew running away wasn't a good solution."

Gem found herself staring down at her wrists. Running away had done nothing for her but give her trouble and pain. She looked away from her wrists and up at the boy waiting for him to continue.

Once again the boy paused, allowing everything he was saying to only further sink into Gem's brain. He pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it up, and without even thinking about it, pulled another one out for Gem. He lit his and then handed his matches to Gem. He waited until she had lit hers before continuing.

"Without trying to bring more trouble to your pretty little shoulders then you already have. I want you to know that after I leave this room, you're going to have a lot to think about. I want you to know that this last month that Spot has been talking to you again had changed him so much. When you left, you killed Spot's spirit. When he finally came out of the room to talk to any of us, he had changed so much, nobody knew what to think. He was angry, and cross all the time. The mere mention of your name sent him into frenzy, even your sister's name made him go nuts. He started bringing girls home; he started beating up the guys for no reason, just because he was angry. He was never happy, and it took him along time before he came to me and told me what was going on in his head, and to spare you all the details, just know, it wasn't pretty. The only boys left from when you were here are me a Cricket, and I'm sure that he would be gone to if he wasn't worried about Spot. Imagine living like that for almost four years, that's how long he was this way. Everyday it was the same thing, and then it became routine. Then suddenly, without any warning, he started talking about bringing you back here. How he had something he needed to tell you, to show you, anything that he thought would possibly get you back here, he thought it up. It possessed him."

"For about a month he walked around by himself, leaving early in the morning, coming back after we had gone to bed. When we did see him it was almost like he had completely changed, like he was almost happy, and none of us could figure out why. Then yesterday, he pulled me and Cricket aside from everybody else, and told us about where he had been going. It was with you, told us about your situation, about your hospital stay, and that you would be coming back here for awhile. That was when everything seemed to make sense. After he left this morning Cricket and I decided that we would tell you everything that had been going on with Spot since you had left. That puts you pretty much up to date with Spot, save a few choice incidents that I am going to spare you for a later date, and it leads me to what I'm asking you to think about."

Gem stared at him once again, but this time it was a deep stare. She met his eyes, and she tried to search him for clues. She tried to read him.

"What could you possibly need me to think about?"

"Before I tell you Gem, you have to promise that you'll do it. I don't care how hard it's going to be, because you honestly have no idea how hard the last four years have been on Spot and this Lodging House." He sighed, wishing that he had phrased his wording nicer, but knowing that there was no way to take it back.

"Just promise Gem."

He looked at her then, his eyes pleading, and after deep hesitation Gem responded, "I promise. Now what is it that I have just promised to do?"

"Talk to Spot," he responded quickly.

She looked at him at that moment as if he had three heads, "I have been talking to him Gunther."

"No, Gem, I mean you need to _talk_ to him… about that night."

She stood up quickly, and stood rigid in front of him as if in a state of shock.

"You want me to what?" She asked, not sure if she had heard him correctly.

"I want you to talk to Spot about that night. Find out what really happened. Tell him why you left. Give him some insight into what is going on in your head when you think about it."

Gem stared at him for a few seconds, before falling onto the opposite bed and placed her head in her hands.

Silence filled the room and the tension was so thick that no even a knife could cut it.

Gem heard Gunther stand up and take the few steps to where she sat and kneel down next to her.

"I'm not saying that it has to be tonight, but soon Gem. Help him to fix himself, so that he can be himself, so that he can help you," he whispered in her ear. Then he stood and made his way for the door, and left, without saying another word.

Gem waited until she head the door click before falling on her back on the bed. She sighed.

_"If only_," she thought to herself.

She could feel the old familiar need rise in her body for the first time since she went into the hospital. She tried to fight it, but all she wanted…no…all she needed was the burning sensation running down her throat, and her head to be dizzy and forgetful. Then she could blame it all on her being drunk. She needed her scapegoat back, and at this point there weren't any rooms in the whole United States that could keep her locked in and away from it.

After she processed that final thought. Regret started to sink in, but there was nothing she could do about it. Her feet were moving on there own, and before she knew it, she was leaving the lodging house, tell "Jim" to tell Spot she would be back in a few hours. She ignored that pang of guilt that was curdling in her gut as she made her way to" Jake's Bar".

**This was a pretty important chapter. I have to say that Gemstone is coming to an end. However, I have one HUGE twist that I think may have to spark a sequel. Let me know what you guys think! Review! Oh and sorry for the last chapter, it was basically unnecessary filler because I felt bad that I hadn't updated in so long! Anyway, keep reading thanks for the reviews keep them coming!**


	14. Chapter 14

"So Is That What You Call A Getaway, Tell Me What You Got Away With"- Brand New

Spot walked back from the docks with a small group of boys. They laughed and joked as they walked, occasionally passing a joint back and forth between them. The smallest boy on the group took a hit, and then passed it to Spot. He shook his head and waved it on to the next person.

As they approached the lodging house Spot saw Gunther standing outside, with Gem nowhere near him. When he got close enough, he yelled out to him, "Where's Gem?"

Gunther just shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head toward Jim, who also shrugged his shoulders in reply.

"Last time I seen her she was in the lodging house with Gunther," Jim said, before turning to the boy who had just tapped his shoulder, and took the joint off him.

Spots eyes moved to Gunther, "Where'd she go Gunther?"

"I already told ya Spot, I ain't seen her. I left her upstairs, that's the last I seen of her."

Spot sighed and pushed through the boys, making his way to the steps. He walked the main room of the lodging house and made his way to the stairs. He passed a few of the smaller boys on the way up, and after nodding a greeting; he reached the top and proceeded towards her bedroom.

He gave a sharp knock on the door and upon hearing no response quietly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

The room was empty.

_"Where the hell is she?"_ Spot thought to himself.

After shutting the door, he turned and walked back down the way he had come and headed outside.

"Alright you bums! Everybody up!" All the boys looked up at there leader, who looked more lost then ever before.

"Before I get really pissed off, has anybody seen Gem?"

The small group that had gathered around him looked at each with anxious eyes. Nobody spoke.

"I'm gonna ask one more time…HAS ANYONE SEEN GEM?"

Once again the boys stared on one another, not sure of what to say.

Spot glared at each of them individually, letting his icy glare make the shiver before moving onto the next one.

Finally, someone spoke up.

"I saw her Spot," said a tiny voice rising from the back of the group. It pushed itself forward allowing each boy to see who it belonged too.

"Where Speck?"

"Heading down the street. I watched her walk out of the lodging house, and I followed her."

"Where'd she go?" Spot asked trying to remain calm.

"I only followed her as far as I'm allowed to go without one of the older boys. But I could still see her walking after I stopped. I think she went to Jake's".

Each boy stopped and stared the tiny boy. Spot stood frozen in time. Suddenly, he moved towards the little boy, his cane in his hand, held as if he was ready to strike.

Gunther stepped in front of him, trying to slow him down; but, with a one arm push, he landed on the ground.

Speck stared at Spot with fear in his eyes, and grimaced as the boy got closer, preparing for the worst. Spot pushed past him, and called over his shoulder.

'Good job Speck." Then he fled the lodging house, his feet pounding every step of the way. The boys heard the door slam, and then all immediately looked to Gunther for reassurance that everything would be okay. He gave none. He dropped his head, and let his eyes stare at the floor shaking his head in disappointment.

She brought the glass to her lips and threw her head back, letting the amber substance run down the back of her throat. She relished this moment, when everything made sense, the only time anything ever did.

She looked into the glass making sure that every last drop had been consumed before roughly slamming the glass back onto the bar, "Hit me Jake!" She exclaimed to the middle age man standing in front of her behind the bar.

"Lanie, I think you've had enough," he protested, trying to get the girl to slow down.

"How many have I had?" She asked, looking at him through half-opened eyes.

"Enough," was his response.

Lanie reached into her pocket and placed 2 pennies onto the bar. "Enough is never enough," she said to him.

The older man just shrugged his shoulders and sighed, taking the whiskey bottle and refilling the glass.

After twisting the cap back on, he returned the bottle to the shelf moved to be once again in front of the girl.

"What are you trying to forget?" He asked her.

She stared at him, and shook her head, "Nothing," was her response.

The older man chuckled, "I've never seen anybody in here before that drank that much for no reason. Everybody that comes in here has a story, what's yours?"

The girl looked away, and back down to the glass. She took a swig and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"It's not a what," she said.

Jake looked at her with confusion, "I'm sorry?"

"You asked me what I was trying to forget. It's not a what, it's a who. Who I'm trying to forget."

"And who might that be?"

She looked at him, taking another gulp from the glass. "I'm not quite sure," was all she said.

She let the silence fill the room after that, not wanting to answer anymore questions but drown in her own self pity.

How bad it was for her, to have lived through all that she had lived through at such an early age. She lost her mother, father, sister… her best friend.

One again she brought the glass to her lips and drank until the glass was empty before placing it back on the bar.

She reached into her pocket and grabbed a cigarette and lit it, letting the smoke fill her lungs before exhaling.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, the door to the bar flung open with a bang. She turned in her chair and saw Spot walking towards her, fire in his eyes.

Jake yelled over to him, "Hey Spot, long time no see. Where ya been?"

Spot walked quickly over to the bar, "Fine Jake, just coming to check on my friend here."

Jake smiled, "I was wondering if she had someone watching over her. Didn't want to let her walk home by herself."

"No," Spot replied, "She's got a whole bunch of somebody's to watch over her. How much she had to drink?"

Jake shook his head, "I don't know how she isn't babbling drunk, been here a little over two hours."

Spot shot a look at Gem, who gave him a tight-lipped smile and turned away, knowing she was in trouble.

"Alright Gem lets go." Then he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her out of the chair and towards the door.

They walked a ways, Spot dragging Gem by the arm, until she cried out in pain to let her go, he was hurting her. Suddenly, he led her into a deserted alley, and once they where into the middle of it, he tightened his grip and threw her against the brick wall. She stood there, rubbing the back of her head, which had received the hardest hit. Spot took both of his arms and placed them around either side of her head.

"I want you to listen to me Lanie, and I want you to listen to me real good."

She stared at him, with a rising fear growing in her eyes. She knew that he was so angry that he was almost calm. He was the scariest when he was like that, when the yelling never comes and yet his words still cut liked a knife.

"Why? Why do you keep doing it? I lock you in a room, you don't get it. You almost kill yourself, and still you don't get it. I bring you here to Brooklyn to watch you, and still, you don't get it. What more do I need to do to keep you from doing it? You drink for what reason Lanie? To hide, to chase away your problems? I can't figure you out, and the more I try, the more I get confused. Is it because of your sister? What is it, just tell me, please I want to fix you, and I can't fix it unless I know why it's broken."

He stared intently at her, noticing for her first time the tears falling down her face. He wanted more then anything to break through his tough façade and hold her forever, but doing that wasn't going to help. So he stayed stoic, standing in front of her, trying hard not to break eye contact with her.

She gave him no response.

"Please Lanie, please, help me figure it out. You're the only one that knows why. Share your secret with me. I just want to help you, and for the first time ever I'm at a loss."

He paused then, taking in a deep breath. Lanie looked up at him, and noticed the tears swelling in his eyes.

He spoke again, his voice cracking, "Please, please tell me, please. Lanie, I can't deal with not being able to save you. You're breaking my heart."

Then the tears flowed freely from both of them, but neither moved, they just stared at the other, unsure of how to handle the situation.

Then, without a word, Gem pushed herself off of the wall and turned around, kneeling down to the ground. The sudden movement startled Spot and he before he knew what she was doing he heard her gagging.

"Lanie, what are you doing?"

She gave no response, and within seconds the amber liquid she had been drinking all night reappeared on the ground.

"Lanie, stop!" Spot yelled trying to pull her up from the ground, but she fought him.

"No Spot," she said through gasps. "I'm sorry; I want it to just go away. I'm sorry I left the lodging house. I'm sorry I drank. I just want it to go away."

With that, she fell to the ground sobbing. In one shot, Spot swooped down and grabbed her, embracing her tightly, hold her, close to his body. She kept repeating "I'm sorry" over and over into his shoulder, and he did nothing put occasionally wipe away the tears that were falling down her face.

They stayed like that for a long time, him holding her close, until her sobs became silent tears and then just silence. Spot moved in and kissed her forehead, and as he did this, her soft voice whispered, "I'm sorry I left you." But Spot said nothing, he stood there holding her a long after that, making sure she knew he understood and the skies broke down and the rain began to pour all around them.

**Author's Note: I AM SO SORRY! It had been forever since I have updated and I am a terrible person. I had a very busy summer taking class and working, so I just didn't have to time, and when I had to time I was too tired. I hope that you guys liked this chapter, I promise after this one it won't be that dark, and I am thinking three more chapters before the end. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! You know you guys are the best! Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15

I'm Glad that you can forgive, Only hoping that as time goes, you can forget... -Brand New

The light shone through the dusty window causing the girl to stir in her sleep. Spot watched from the opposite bed hoping that she'd wake up. She's been sleeping for a day and half and he was beginning to get worried. Her breath was steady and he watched her chest rise and fall in a fixed rhythm. He was beyond exhausted. The past few weeks had done nothing but push him to his limits, both physically and emotionally but he was terrified to fall asleep. Terrified that the moment he did, she would wake up and leave him. He couldn't face that. He knew how she acted when she was scared. There was too much that was left unsaid between the two of them.

He heard her move suddenly, the rustling of the thin blanket making the noise, and he watched her slowly open her eyes, blinking rapidly as they adjusted the sunlight. She sighed heavily and looked around that room. Noticing him sitting opposite her she gave him a slight smile.

"Hi," she said, her voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Hi," he replied back returning the slight smile she had given him.

She shifted in the bed and positioned herself so that she was now on her back, her head propped up on her pillow. She was staring up at the ceiling.

"What time is it?"

"Early morning. The boys left a little while ago. How are you feeling?"

She rolled over onto her side and stared at him. "I'm tired, exhausted really."

He snorted in response.

"What?' She asked him with a hint of laughter in her voice replacing the hoarseness.

"Well, you've been asleep for almost two days."

There was no reply from her, and awkwardness suddenly entered the room.

The pair sat in silence just staring at each other. Neither knowing where to really begin the conversation. Spot spoke first.

"I think that we need to talk."

Lanie stared at him for a moment before nodding her head in agreement. Spot rose from the bed and walked over to the small dresser in the room and pulled some clothes out of it and placed them gently on the end of the bed.

"You should get dressed." Lanie looked at him confused before realizing that she was wearing nothing but her dress slip and she blushed.

"Did you...?" she started to question. Wondering how she had gotten out of the soaking wet clothes that she remembered wearing, the ones that she had walked home in.

Spot shook his head, "No, Gunther's girl undressed you. That's her slip your wearing. Those clothes," he pointed to the ones he had just placed at the bottom of the bed. "Those are hers. She brought them over you."

Lanie nodded in acknowledgment. Sport continued.

"I'll let you get dressed, just come out when you're ready and we'll go get something to eat."

She nodded again, and Spot left without saying another word.

Slowly, she sat up and took in her surroundings. She knew she was in her bedroom at the boarding house, but she couldn't remember how she'd gotten there. Racking her memory, she let it take her as far back as she could. She remembered talking to Gunther, leaving for the bar, standing in the rain... Embarrassment flooded her. The things she had done and said. The things Spot had said to her.

_"How I am gonna get myself outta this one?"_ She thought to herself. Scenarios played in her head. Fake conversations that she felt could lead anywhere. Deep thoughts, desires, things she knew she needed to tell him but was scared too.

She laid back down in bed, letting these thoughts consume her. After awhile, there was a knock on the door.

"You okay Gem?" Spot called though the door.

She quickly got out of bed and reached for the clothes he had given her. "Yea, I'll be out in a minute."

She quickly got dressed and stepped out of the room, fixing the skirt around the waist as she did.

Spot was leaning against the wall, and nodded to her, "Ready?"

"Yea, let's go."

The pair set out from the boarding house and towards the nearest bakery. Spot purchased a roll for her, nothing for himself.

"You're not hungry? She asked him, taking the roll from his outstretched hand.

He just shook his head. "Let's go find someplace to talk." He walked ahead of her, and she stayed a few steps behind him, wondering why he felt so distant all of a sudden.

They walked on for a few minutes, until Spot stopped at a bench leading into the entrance of a small park. He sat down, and she followed suit.

They sat in silence. Neither one sure what to say to the other. Finally, after a few moments, Spot cleared his throat. Lanie looked over at him but he continued to look straight ahead.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" The girl replied

"For this mess. For bringing you here, and for locking you up, and for...," he paused for a moment, not really knowing how to continue, which words would sound best. "I guess I'm sorry for everything.." He finally looked over at her. Their eyes connected. Lanie saw the pain, and sadness that had engulfed them. The honesty of what he was telling her. Silence once again fell over them, and Spot broke the connection that she was desperately trying to hold onto.

Spot took a deep breath before he continued. "Do you know why we call you Gemstone? How that became your nickname?"

Lanie looked over at him puzzled. "What does that have to do..."

"We called you Gemstone because that's what you are. You're a gem. A diamond in the rough. When you came here, when we all first met you, you were so lost and confused, and sad. You clamed up, you were shy around us, you didn't let anyone see who you really were. Then little by little you would smile, or tell a joke... You let us see who you really were. You were a Gem, a rarity around here. That's why we called you that. That's how you got your nickname."

He turned to look at her and a smirk on his face. She stared back in surprise. She never knew how she'd gotten the name. Spot continued.

"Your sister, got her nickname because, and this is going to sound awful, because she was the complete opposite of you. A daisy, you can find anywhere. Their pretty, but there everywhere." He snorted just then, as though a thought had just hit him. "I think these are probably the most carefully thought out nicknames ever."

Lanie nodded, but not really in understanding. "I still don't understand..."

"That night... the night Lissy died, I always said I didn't have a choice. That I could only save one of you. But I've replayed that night a million times in my head, and the truth is, I did have a choice. I could have saved both of you..." He looked over at Lanie, to see her reaction. He stared his, emotionless, one single tear fell down her cheek. He reached up to wipe it away but she slapped his hand. She made to stand up, wanting nothing more at that point but to get away from him. He grabbed her arm before she could move, and pulled her back to him.

"Please, just listen to what I have to say, then you can do what you want," he pleaded with her. She looked away from him, and when she didn't say anything, he took that as a sign to continue. I had been expecting this from her, knowing full well, that after everything they had been through together, that this would probably be the last time he would talk her. He needed her to know the truth though. Now, able to look up at her, and see her face, he continued.

"Like I was saying. I had a choice, I could have saved both of you. But in that moment, all I could see was you, hurt, dying, and scared. I needed to save you first because, and I hate to admit this, you were, and still are the most important person in my life. I needed you more than I needed Lissy. So I saved you first, I made sure that you were okay first. I thought I had more time to save her. I thought that she would be okay. Obviously, I thought wrong"

He stopped here and took a deep breath. He took her hand in his and she looked down at him, tears still in her eyes.

"Lanie, if I could go back and re-do everything that I did that night, I would not do anything differently. I need you to know that. I believe that I made the best decision. I just needed you to hear that." He stopped talking and continued to stare at her.

"Is that all Conlon?" She asked him, her voice low and cold, and eerily calm.

"Yea, that's all. Like I said, I needed you to know that."

She shook her head and suddenly, with anger she yanked her hand out of his, and slapped him across the face.

He continued to stare at her. Knowing that he fully deserved this treatment.

"Spot, I'm going to walk away because honestly, being three inches away from you makes me want to kill you. I thought, that I had finally been able to let go of the past. Accept what happened. But this, this confession, after years and years of saying the opposite. That's something I can't deal with right now. So, I need you not to follow me, and just let me go. Don't come looking for me. I need you to just leave me alone. Forever, for the rest of my life."

With that, she turned and walked away, and for the second time, Spot watched her walk out of his life.

**Author's Note: So yea, it has been like three, closer to four years since I updated this story. A lot has happened since then. I was on my computer the other day and was deleting some of my old files when I came across this story. After reading it, I (hopefully) decided to finish it. This chapter, I guess is just a way for me to get back into the swing of things. Anywhoo, thanks to everybody (or anybody) who read this when I was updating. I appreciate it! See you in the next chapter (hopefully) :)**


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